Let’s Be Practical
All of this talk about destiny is a great parenting talk. But how realistic is it?  Destiny is not just wishful thinking. It is real and practical. Let me give you an example from the life of Catherine Marshall. She was a prolific author of the 20th century. I read one of her books on prayer recently (Adventures in Prayer).  One of the chapters is entitled “The Waiting Prayer”. This chapter specifically relates to praying for our children. Many of those prayers that are prayed before our children are even born are not answered for years.  Mrs. Marshall tells the story of a moment early on in her motherhood years.  She writes that she was encouraged to think deeply for a week or more about the kind of person she wanted her child to become as an adult. Then she was instructed to write out those prayers in small pieces of paper and slip them into a favorite Bible, “signifying leaving them in GOD’S keeping.” She came across that Bible years later when her son reached adulthood and discovered that GOD had fulfilled every single request. Her son had become the man she had asked for. 
 She relates that later on when she began thinking seriously about her son’s future wife, she followed the same process. Mrs. Marshall thought prayerfully about the kind of daughter-in-law she would like to have, wrote down those descriptions and placed them in a favorite Bible as well. As her son brought various girls home to meet his mother (his father had died already), she was very tempted to open up that Bible and see if she “fit the bill”, but she refused. Finally Peter was engaged to a young lady named Edith. In her own words, Mrs. Marshall wrote, “Sometime after Edith and Peter were engaged I came across those written notes and reread them with amazement. There – detail by detail – was Edith.”  Her prayers for her future daughter-in-law were answered. Mrs. Marshall’s grandchildren would have a wonderful mother and her son would have an awesome wife, one who fit the bill for him. 
 Those prayers are the practical prayers of destiny that we should offer up to GOD. Those are the kinds of prayers that He honors because they are birthed in His heart actually. And then we parents have front row seats as we watch GOD develop our children to become what He intended. It is an amazing sight.   

Prayers . . . For Them Or Me?
 When expecting a child, I think that every parent has great dreams and hopes for their child.  Very few (if any) believe their child will be a failure, at least not consciously. So we pray with great desires in mind. We pray for their destiny to be realized even though we may not know what that destiny may be. 
 This prayer for destiny is much easier when the child is still in the womb or a preschooler.  That is when we are actually praying our dreams.  However that prayer becomes a great challenge when our child reaches adulthood and begins living that destiny – by making plans to go to Africa for a year.  Or they take our grandchildren to live in Argentina.  Or that they end up living below the poverty level.  Or driving their drunk friends home from parties. Or feeding AIDS patients. The irony is that at the very moment we begin seeing GOD answer our prayers for our children is the very moment that we ask ourselves, “What in the world have we done?”   
 We then understand that raising our children to follow the heart of Jesus is costly to us parents, perhaps more than it costs them, or it seems so. We watch them walk through the security checkpoints at airports while choking back the tears caused by anxieties of separation. Then the realization hits us that our prayers of destiny were not just prayers for them to follow Jesus.  They were also for us parents being ready for them to follow Jesus to places and situations we would never have chosen. But He did. And they followed out of a deep love for Him. And I am the one who has to let them go and watch them take the risks of following Jesus. 
    How can I release them?  It comes down to the belief that GOD loves my children very much, much more than I do.  And that thought brings me great comfort. As I begin to “grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ” (Ephesians 3:20) for my children, then I can trust His heart for them and that He will not lead them to the wrong places.  And that their desire to follow Him may not always be accurate and that they may not read His will perfectly, but still GOD will work in the midst of their mistakes and His plans for them will be accomplished.  Yes, as a father, I must trust my Heavenly Father, with the children He has allowed me to father.  Like Hannah, I must pray, “I will give him to You all the days of his life” and then encourage them to be His all the days of their lives. 

Destiny Is . . .
 Let me be clear about destiny.  So often we think of it as fame or riches.  But destiny is not that shallow.  It is much more than being a target of the paparazzi.  The word “destiny” often conjures up ideas of being a rock star or a corporate CEO or a political leader. However, destiny is more than that. Destiny means fulfilling GOD’S plan for one’s life.  It means becoming what GOD made you to be with no regard to level of fame or obscurity you achieve.  
 For some, that means caring for the elderly in a nursing home. Or it means repairing automobiles.  Or it means teaching middle schoolers the finer points of English grammar.  Or it means manicuring lawns. Or it means being President of the United States. GOD’S destiny for each of us is unique. And it has absolutely nothing to do with popularity or wealth. It has everything to do with following Jesus into an unknown future. For some, His footprints will lead them into an abundance of riches. For others, it will lead them into poverty. And occasionally, Jesus will take people to both of those places. An early Jesus follower described his life like this.  He wrote, “I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty.” This man, simply known as Paul, experienced destiny in the early years of the first century by starting churches in the Mediterranean world.  He became famous, but not because he wanted fame. It was a by-product of a life given away for others. 
 Destiny is not related to status. Instead destiny is about fulfillment. Destiny means living life to the fullest. It means knowing that your life counted. It means leaving the world a better place than you found it. Destiny is about pursuing GOD’S dream to bless others. Destiny is about the generous giving away of your own life. It means enhancing the lives of others rather than your own.    
 The parenting goal is not to get our kids to do what we want them to do.  Rather it is to help them discover how they were made & then do the thing that comes from their heart.  That is how GOD made them. That is their destiny and that destiny will bring them the most fulfillment and will give GOD the greatest honor. We parents then must learn how to help them discover what GOD put on their inside and live out of that calling to fulfill His destiny. 

The Prayer of Destiny
 How do we prepare our children to live out GOD’S destiny for them?  The first step is prayer.  Parenting is difficult enough without considering the issue of GOD’S purpose for our children.  When we add “destiny” into the mix, it takes parenting to another level because you are talking about impacting the lives of many others and changing the world.  What an incredible opportunity and responsibility!  From the depths of our heart, we recognize our inabilities to prepare our children to follow GOD into the future.  And out of those depths we cry out to GOD.   
 Prayer is our invitation to GOD into our parenting experience.  However we often miss something:   Once we invite GOD to that situation, then we need to remember that He is in it completely.  GOD never just walks in & just changes a few things & then leaves.  Oh no, no.  GOD is not a servant who does what we ask.  He is GOD & in that moment when we invite Him in to the parenting relationships, we need to understand that He will come fully into that moment.  He will be all over it and He will be all in it.  GOD is not One to sit on the sidelines and give advice.  Remember that prayer is more than just asking for help.  Prayer is calling on the GOD of creation to take charge of the things we cannot handle, including parenting.  GOD is not here to assist us as parents.  Instead He responds to our prayers by calling our children to follow Him.  
 Remember the prayer of Hannah from 1 Samuel 1 - 
“O Lord Almighty, if You will only look upon Your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget Your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life.”
It was a prayer of surrender.  The prayer of destiny is the prayer that is willing for the purposes of GOD to be accomplished regardless of the cost.  Therefore if you see destiny in your children, then here is the question to ask:  Are you willing to pray the prayer of destiny?  Are you willing to let them go into the unknown future to be GOD’S person wherever that calling may take him/her? 
 Once we are willing for GOD to accomplish His plans for their lives, then His calling will invite them to a life beyond imagination.  And it is not a prayer we just pray once.  It is a prayer we pray regularly, often daily or even hourly. 

It is the Prayer of Destiny.