"And She'll Be Gone"


If you are even a small fan of contemporary Christian music, you have probably heard the news by now that Steven Curtis Chapman's young daughter, Maria, was killed in a tragic accident at their home. (Visit http://www.stevencurtischapman.com/ for more info.) Since beginning this job as a Bereavement Coordinator at Albany Hospice, I've talked to way too many parents who have lost a child to death. I do think it is the deepest hurt that any person can experience. Burying your own child is a tragedy that no one should ever have to endure . . . but they do. And this very day, Steven, his wife, Mary Beth, and their 5 other young children are reeling in a maze of hurt, anger, and sadness.

And yet, we have to mix in hope, love, and grace. This family already knows that there are some situations where no lasting or sufficient answers exist. We live in a world where tragedy is a part of this deal we call life. You can't escape it. Sometimes all you can do is learn to live without explanations. That is what I've learned.

And yet, I am thinking of the touching song that Steven recently wrote and recorded. It is entitled, Cinderella. Here are the lyrics to the chorus:

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms'
Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song,
Cuz all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

If you have a teenage child, then you know how true these words are. Our children do grow up quickly. Before you know it, they are shaving (either their legs or their face), acting strangely, and then one day, out of nowhere comes the word - wedding. And then like Cinderella, "She'll be gone."

While Steven Curtis did not know Maria would be gone this quickly, I would guess he did dance every dance with her because he knew that one day she would be gone. I guess this tragedy is a simple but powerful reminder to us all to use our time wisely with our children. We need to enjoy them because all too soon, the clock will strike midnight . . . . . . . . . . . . & they'll be gone.

“Amnesia is Dangerous”

Over the previous few weeks a provoking thought has resonated in my brain - Everything we do is based on our memory. Every move I make, every word I use, every path I travel is founded on the fact that I remember what to do or to say. Just recently I attended a conference for people dealing with Alzheimer’s Disease. One of the main speakers was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in her 40’s. During the early stages when she was still driving, she talked about the fear of cutting off her car. She was afraid that she would not remember how to crank it back up. She talked about how devastating it was for her to enter a grocery store and to meet someone she knew. Because once she started a conversation with someone, she would completely forget why she was there. No, she would not forget her grocery list, she would forget what she was supposed to do in that store. So she would end up leaving her shopping half full of groceries and going home without any groceries.

I think about me typing at this computer. I take for granted the reason I push the right keys at the right time is because of my memory. Without our memory we would not know how to perform the simple things of everyday life such as brushing our teeth, putting on our clothes, or even eating. Many Alzheimer’s patients who are fed by a sitter are found to have food still in their mouths the next morning because they forgot to swallow supper from the night before.

John Eldredge relates the story of the small Mexican town of Macondo. A plague of insomnia strikes the village. The residents go for weeks and then months without sleep. They begin to lose vital faculties and the first to go is their memory. Even the simplest items have no place in their memory bank. Aureliano, a town leader, is working in his silversmith’s shop one day when he realizes that he cannot remember the name of the anvil. His father reminds him of it. And so he began to write the item’s name on each item. He marked table, chair, clock, door. He marked the animals with horse, cow, pig, chicken. They inscribed the names on everything throughout the village. And then they realized that they might not only forget the names, but also their use. So they became more explicit. For example, they wrote on the cow: Cow – She must be milked every morning so that she will produce milk and the milk must be boiled in order to be mixed with coffee to make coffee and milk.. And then just a few days later, someone wrote these words on the city limits sign that read: Macondo, our home - God exists.

Amnesia is dangerous.